The Sanzo Incident IV
by NellySama
Summary: Ch5 Authors Note!Very Important. the fourth installment is now coming to an end!
1. Chapter 1 Eh?

**The Sanzo Incident IV**

By: NellySama

A/N: Anou...guess what, I couldn't stay away. I love this series of randomness. Yaay. Okay. When you review, give me names of movies that I can involve in this! Okay, ready...steady...go!

Disclaimer: Psh! I've written four of these things now, and still no... I love you Minekura!!! Riight.

Warnings: OOCness as usual, and if you havent noticed, woot to the shonen-ai/yaoi ness. More of the usual Gojyo bashing, and random video game character apearances and from other animes. What can I say? I love everything. Neko-Sanzoness forever. OH btw, I finally saw that cat episode, but Sanzo is magical, so he's not allergic to himself.

**Chapter 1: Eh??**

The sky was blue, as usual, the sun was bright and shiney, that too, as usual. But something was amis in Gojyo's house. It was...too quite. Sanzo and Goku had noticed all the way from the temple, and so...they investigated. And now they stood outside the door, trying to fiqure out where in the world the handle went.

Sanzo: -ear and eye twitch angrily- What...the...hell.

Goku: -staring in disbelief- Why...Why am I talking in such a high voice?! It doesn't make any sense! -whimper-

Sanzo: Nice, Dane Cook?

Goku: Hell yes. Right, now lets try to fiqure out why the door handle is gone.

BAM!

They hear loud banging on the other side of the door.

Sanzo: OMFG. Did you fucking hear that?! Someone is dieing! -runs away, leaving Goku behind-

Goku: YOU BITCH! Wait for me! -chases after him as the house explodes in flaming glory-

Pieces of the house fell from the sky and hurtled toward the monk and the monkey. They quickly found a lake and jumped in, which created a barrier that prevent the debris from attacking them. It growled angryly and floated away.

Sanzo: What...was that? -out of breath-

Goku: I-i dont know...I think it was part of the house...-clinging tightly to Sanzo- Wah...that was scary!

Gojyo is suddenly floating next to them.

Goyo: Hey...

Sanzo/Goku: O.o -twitch, twitch-

Gojyo: Hey, have you guys seen my house?

Sanzo: What, you did just see that just now?!

Gojyo: See what? -looks around as they all climb out of the lake- I didn't see anything, I was spelunking!

They both stared at Gojyo for a moment and then Sanzo smacked him on the head.

Sanzo: YOU CANT GO SPELUNKING IN A LAKE!

Goku: What spelunking?

Before either of the other two could answer, Hakkai descended from the sky.

Hakkai: HelloOoOoOo -wink-

Gojyo: Hey its Hak -is shot in the face and is now dead-

Sanzo: Bohahaha! In your face kappa! Now you are dee--aaa-d!

Sanzo kicks the body into the lake and a giant fish comes up and eats the dead kappa.

Goku: HOLY SHIT! HAKKAI!

Hakkai: What?! God lord, man! Whats wrong!? Have my pants caught fire?!

Goku: -very serious- Yes!

Indeed it was true, Hakkai's pants were on fire. What were they going to do about it?!

Sanzo: We can do nothing! Nothing at all! Hakkai you are destined to burn alive with your pants! Hakkai! I'm so sorry...

Hakkai: NOOOOO!

Goku: Guys! Stop screaming and yelling! We have to fiqure out the meaning of life or else...or else...-cant bring himself to say it-

Hakkai and Sanzo patiently await for Goku to finish his scentence, and he was about to when, suddenly a giant chocobo fell from the sky.

KYAAAAAAAA!! The screamed in unsion as the yellow doom fell down upon them.

Squish.

End Chapter 1.

Please Review! tell me what you think, I have the loving writers block so the funnyness isnt there as much as I had hoped but, don't worry I'm sure it'll clear up by the time I ready the second chapter. I promie to bring insanity and chaos upon the uber sexy saiyuki boys. 3x9 for3v3r!

y35, i d4r3 70 8r!n6 1337 !n70 7h!5 (0n\/3r547!0n. translation yes, i dare to bring leet into this conversation.


	2. Chapter 2 Evil Tape?

The Sanzo Incident IV

NellySama

A/N: Gomen, gomen. You all were waiting for the second chapter, but you know, Governments a pain, -glares at the teacher- Yeah you! Making me do homework ...Right! Second chapter, shall vere of toward the Ring, since a review Michi suggested. Yay, and So...-gets distracted by crazy frog- Jesus...awesome. Waiii Okay okay, onwards with the chapter.

Warnings: Mmm same as last time...if I could write lemons I would but, I cant, and if i did there would be alot of Uchicest and 39 and SoubiRistuka fics everywhere. Oh yeah, gojyo trying to have sex with a K.O.ed Hakkai...

Disclaimer: If we put it in the first chapter...we dont have to do this anymore. So there. NYAA!!

**Chapter 2: Evil Tape?**

**last time...**

Hakkai: NOOOOO!

Goku: Guys! Stop screaming and yelling! We have to fiqure out the meaning of life or else...or else...-cant bring himself to say it-

Hakkai and Sanzo patiently await for Goku to finish his scentence, and he was about to when, suddenly a giant chocobo fell from the sky.

KYAAAAAAAA!! The screamed in unsion as the yellow doom fell down upon them.

Squish.

---

Amazingly the all got out if the way in time and the chocobo plummeted deep within the earth. They all watched. The earth closed up and puked out a roll of tape.

Sanzo: -stare- ...

Hakkai: Dot dot dot indeed.

Sanzo: What?

Hakkai: Just repeating what you said.

Sanzo: I didn't say anything. -angry tone-

Hakkai: You said "dot dot dot"

Sanzo: Noo. I said "..." That is silence, there is no sound that emits from me when that happens.

Hakkai: Sure, but its read as Dot dot dot.

Sanzo: Do you want to fight about this? I will win.

Hakkai: How? You don't have a large vocabulary like me.

Goku: -snicker- Thats what she said...

Sanzo and Hakkai raised an eyebrow at Goku and continued their agrument.

Sanzo: I have a gun, I win be default. And Oh yeah. You're pants are still on fire. -kukuku-

Hakkai: -eyes widen- W-what?! Oh fucking crap they are!! GYAAAAAA!!! -runs in circles- SAVE ME!

Goku: Sanzo! What are we going to do?! -spots the black tape on the ground- Hey what about this?

Sanzo: How is tape going to save Hakkai from a burning inferno?

Just then Gojyo came back from the and launched himself at Hakkai.

Hakkai: Kyaa! -falls over-

Gojyo: I MUST SAVE YOU!

Hakkai: -covers his eyes- Must you save me so loudly?! -is knocked out because of the loud shouting-

Goku runs over to Gojyo and starts kicking him.

Goku: Get of 'Kai! -kick kick- He's on fire you dick!

Gojyo: You dont think I know that?! I'm trying to take of his pants!

Sanzo/Goku: -twich-

Sanzo: -glare glare- You're going to have sex at a time like this?!

Gojyo: W-what?! -succesfully pulled the firey pants off of Hakkai and threw them in the lake- I'm trying to save him from the fire! -pause- Though...sex would be good about now.

Sanzo: -tic marks everywhere- HELL NO! -tries

Goku: -eye twich- EWWW SANZO! I CAN SEE IT! IT BURNS!!

Sanzo: -covers Goku's eyes and drags him away along with the black tape.- Grrr. Stupid Horny Kappa!

Sanzo and Goku run far far away into the woods where they kept the big screen television. Goku had an idea and he began taping up the TV.

Sanzo: What are you doing?!

Goku: Its a tape right? I'm putting it on the TV so we can watch it! -proud-

Sanzo: -sighs- Goku...-doesn't want to crush his dream and pulls him into a hug- You...are a genius!

Goku: Psha! I know . Ohh! Its starting!!

Oddly enough the tape worked and a movie started. The movie was infact the movie that was in the Ring. Both started screaming in terror when they realized what it was.

Sanzo: Oh crap! Goku turn it off! NOW!!!

Goku was running francically all over the place looking for the remote, but he couldn't find it. They were doomed! Just then Gojyo came hurtling out of nowhere and smashed in the TV. Hakkai shortly followed, very angry. The other two cringed.

Hakkai: Grr...He was a serious issue with being dead!! -standing in his boxers only-

Sanzo: Umm...thanks for breaking the TV.

Goku: NO WAY! We're still screwed!! FREAKING SCREWED IN THE A!!

Everyone stared at the spastic monkey.

Hakkai: What the hell...?

Sanzo: -gasp- YOU SWORE! You never swear! You're hear to kill us aren't you! It hasn't even been seven days!! YOU BASTARD! Keep away!! -runs off-

Hakkai: You shutup I can swear if I want! -chases-

Goku: NO!! Sanzo! Ruuuuuuun! The little girl is after you!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! -follows after them-

Hakkai: -looks back at Goku- Am I not a girl!

Sanzo: Yeah you are, with all your girlness! -hiss- BWAHAHA. I'm all knowing, you can't deny it!

Goku: Yeah! You're that creepy dead girl from the movie!

Hakkai: This is soo confusing! My brain! IT HURTS!!! -seethes-

Goku: Thas what she said!

Sanzo: Serisouly...you've got to stop that.

Goku: Huh uh, I'm just getting started.

Hakkai: Thats what she said...-glare-

The three of them stop running. Goku and Hakkai face off whilist Sanzo drinks a monster.

Goku: What. Did. You. Say?! THATS MY LINE DAMMIT!

Hakkai: Oh yeah! I dared. I dared to say you're line and since I did, its now mine! MWUA-...MWUAHA...MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!!!

Goku: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Sanzo: Goodness he's got good lungs. -observing.-

TBC!!

End chapter 2.

a/n: Kyaha...:3 blame crazy frog and naruto music for that... Kukuku.

Please review a whole lot and give sugesstions.


	3. Chapter 3 Dancing Dead Ladies?

The Sanzo Incident IV

By NellySama

A/N: OMMM(oh my Mithos-ing martel.) Sorry for not updating in, what, ten years? School came up and kicked me in the eye. So I've been busy doing that…LAME EXCUSE. That was a lie. I've just been lazing about. I've been in a TOS phase, so I was distracted. Yay. So I'm back.

Warnings: MEH. Language…more gojyo bashin' xD

Chapter 3: Dancing Dead Ladies.

Last Time

The three of them stop running. Goku and Hakkai face off whilst Sanzo drinks a monster.

Goku: What. Did. You. Say?! THAT'S MY LINE DAMMIT!

Hakkai: Oh yeah! I dared. I dared to say you're line and since I did, it's now mine! MWUA-...MWUAHA...MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!!!

Goku: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Sanzo: Goodness he's got good lungs. -Observe.-

This Time…

Goku finished yelling and fell over in a faint. Hakkai was smug with his small victory; Sanzo kicked dirt out of boredom.

Sanzo: Hey, peoples.

Goku/Hakkai: Yah, what?!

Sanzo: What are we going to do about this whole, 'Seven Days' thing?

Hakkai: Well, the little girl hasn't called yet. So…I guess you guys are in the clear!

Sanzo: Or are we?! –dun dun dunn-

Goku: -looking at something in the distance- H-hey, guys…

Hakkai: Yes?

Goku points to the once dead body of Gojyo, who is angrily staring at them. Very Angrily.

Gojyo: All right guys! I've had enough of this-this…POOPY CRAP!

Sanzo: Poopy Crap?

Gojyo: Yes, Poopy Crap!

Hakkai: Was that seriously the best you could come up with?

Gojyo: Shut up! It was short notice! I don't need more beatings from you assholes!

Goku: God…you're soo…………I don't know, but I just want to hit you!

Sanzo: See? That's why I beat on him so much, you just want to! –begins shooting at Gojyo-

Gojyo: WTF?! QUIT IT! –_Barely_ dodging the bullets when Hakkai's foot comes in contact with the Kappa's face-

Goku decided not to join in the Gojyo beatings, Sanzo did so he ran over to help Hakkai. The little monkey kept watch for evil Asian dead girls to pop outta nowhere and kill them. To his left the bushes shook.

Goku: O.O…..-Steps away slowly- ……..S-Sanzo….?

Sanzo: -kicking Gojyo where the sun don't shine- Yeah?

Goku: SAVE ME!!! TT-TT –runs to Sanzo's side as a giant Man-Bear-Pig leaps from the bushes. - AAAAHHHHH!!

Sanzo/Hakkai/Gojyo: o.O;…What the hell is that?!

Goku: It's a man-bear-pig! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! –runs away-

Sanzo: Hey! Don't leave us dammit! –runs after the monkey-

MBP: ROOAAAAAAARRR SNORT HUMAN NOISE!!!!

Gojyo: Oh dear god…

Hakkai: Oh my, that's certainly terrifying isn't it? –all smiles and he slowly backs away-

Gojyo: No shit---gets smacked with a giant MBP paw in the face- GUFFA!!!-goes flying into a tree-

Hakkai laughs at Gojyo and tries to escape but the Man-Bear-Pig would not have it. He picked up Gojyo's lifeless body and twirled him about like nunchukku.

Hakkai: This…wont be good….-takes a fighting/defensive/don't beat the crap out of me stance.-

MBP: I FIGHT YOU NOW RAAAWORROOARRSNORTHUMANNOISE!!!!!!!

KABANG!!! KABANG!! The MBP looked stunned for a moment and then fell definitely dead to the ground. With his huge thud dust filled the area for dramatic effect. Hakkai squinted to see who saved him. And, as the dust cleared, it was none other than…

Hazel: Well, I do declare! If isn't Mister Hakkai!

Gat: ….Hey.

Hakkai: -twitch twitch- ….Oh No……

Hazel: Oh no, what?

Hakkai: Someone help me…….-gets up and runs as fast as he can with Hazel and Gat following- GOKU SANZO! HELP ME!!!!!!

TBC!!!

a/N: Review plsss…TT-TT It makes chapters be written…

Sorrrrrrrrryy xD Well lookie here, Its Hazel!!! God I dislike him. Oh well.! He's going to be torturing everyone next chapter.. Kukuku. And was, Man Bear Pig, haven't seen south park? Don't ask D


	4. Chapter 4 In the name of the Sun?

The Sanzo Incident IV

By NellySama

A/N: domo to those who reviewed….If you want more chapters then review D Simple right? YEAH! So here it is! Chapter 4, and with graduation closing in with its evil deadline of MAJOR assignments…I'll be trying to get up as many chapters as I can. Wheee….I swear this is going somewhere, don't worry! Notice how that last chapter titled didn't go with the story? Yeah, I noticed too. The plot I had for that chapter died somewhere along the way. I'll make sure this one stays on track

Disclaimer: look its here. Bleh. :p.

Warnings: language! YAY!

Chapter 4: In the Name of the Sun?

Last Time….

_KABANG!!! KABANG!! The MBP looked stunned for a moment and then fell definitely dead to the ground. With his huge thud dust filled the area for dramatic effect. Hakkai squinted to see who saved him. And, as the dust cleared, it was none other than…_

_Hazel: Well, I do declare! If isn't Mister Hakkai!_

_Gat: ….Hey._

_Hakkai: -twitch twitch- ….Oh No……_

_Hazel: Oh no, what?_

_Hakkai: Someone help me…….-gets up and runs as fast as he can with Hazel and Gat following- GOKU SANZO! HELP ME!!!!!!_

This Time…

Hakkai ran as hard and as fast as he could towards an Inn that Sanzo and Goku were hiding in. Hazel and Gat were close behind… a couple hundred miles behind. Geezes Hakkai can run fast. He burst through the room door, sending Sanzo up the wall and clinging to the ceiling. Goku was painting his toe nails, wearing his Sailor Sun outfit.

Hakkai: OMFG. GUYS. WE. NEED. TO. RUN. AWAY. NOW!! –falls over from exhaustion-

Sanzo: -falls from the ceiling and lands on Hakkai- -o. OW. Goku! There is an unconscious man under me. Help me move it towards the television! NOW!!! –slams his fist on the floor-

Goku: OKAY!!! In the name of the sun, I will help you!!! –Jumps up from the bed, short skirt flowing in the wind…that came from nowhere.- TADA!!!

Sanzo: Okay, what we need to do, is move him directly in the view of the television for this to work.

Goku: What're we going to do to him?

Sanzo: Once we get there everything will make sense.

Goku: NO! I want to know NOW!

Sanzo: THWACK. No! We must consult the ORACLE! Or all will be lost!!

Goku: -eyes widen with fear- All…will be lost?!!?!

Sanzo: Yes. –Intense lighting- All will be lost. All and everything with it. ALL OF IT WILL BE GONE!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!

Goku: NOO!! We must hurry and get Hakkai to the television!!!

The monk and the monkey began their dangerous journey to the front of the television. Just as they were about to reach it, the door flew open and out the window. There stood Hazel and Gat, glowing in their Holy glory. Sanzo glared angrily. Goku pulled out a wand with a heart at the top and waved it around wildly.

Goku: Sanzo get back! I'll protect you from these evil doers!

Hazel: Oh Ho! What's this? (A/N: Sorry…I'm not good with accents….so yeah. Not so much here, only sometimes.) What 'ave you got there, sonny?

Goku: I've got a kick ass wand that's going to gouge your eyes out!! BWAHAHAH!! –strikes a girlish pose- LET US FIGHT, IN THE NAME OF THE SUN!

Sanzo: -looks around sneakily and drags Hakkai slowly closer towards the television and turns it on- Crap…what channel was the oracle on?

Hazel: Gat! Go stand by the window and pretend to be a look out!!! –does the crane stance and launches himself at the monkey-

Goku: Keh! –Does a flip and Hazel goes sailing out the window, taking Gat with him.- Well, that's that! That was hard work.

Sanzo: -Glares at him- What do you mean, _hard work_? All you did was flip in the air!!

Hakkai's form began to move, and Sanzo panicked and picked up a chair and bashed Hakkai on the head.

Sanzo: Jesus he scared the crap out of me….

Goku: Saaanzzo!! He almost came to!

Sanzo: Shut up! I panicked!

Goku: -looks at the tv, which now had a steaming bullet hole in the middle of it.- Guess the oracle is broken?

Sanzo: She's a whore….

Hakkai:………be nice…-slowly gets up and floats over to the bed-

Sanzo/Goku: O.O…..Uhm, Hakkai?

Hakkai: BWAHAHAHHAHA. I'M SUPER HAKKAI NOW! I'm BIGGER, BETTER, AND FASTER!!!!! NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW, SILLY PENGUIN NOOBS!!! –dramatic villain entrance music plays loudly in the background- MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! –is struck by a white rose-

Mysterious Masked Man: Not If I can help it!! –heroic voice- Prepare to fight me, villain! –black cape flowing in the wind-

Goku: SQUEEE! –heart eyes-

Sanzo: -looks back and forth between the too- GOKU. I demand to know what's going on! –realizes something- Are…are you….cheating on me?! –teary eyed-

Goku: SANZO! NO! I love you! I just have to pretend to be all lovey over this guy for the sake of this chapter! –dramatic hug-

The Masked man, groaned with slight jealosy and began to fight with Hakkai. He lost, and his mask crashed to the ground. Revealing his face.

Goku: -shreiks with terror- IT'S THE CREEPY MAN!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! –hides behind Sanzo-

Homura: I've come for you Goku. You cannot run or hide!!

Gojyo: -jumps through the ceiling with Hazel and Gat- Not if all of us have anything to say about it!!

Sanzo: YOU ASS THAT'S MY LINE!! DIE!

Gojyo: I can't die yet!!! NO!!

Hakkai: Mwehehehe…-flies in EVIL circles-

TBC?!?!

Reviewww. I Homura's cool, but he's creepy….no one knows what happened in that cave!! He needs to stay away from the monkey…

Yeaaaahhhhhh D Sailor Moon twist, I think so!


	5. Chapter 5 Here Comes The End

A//N:

I'm sad to say…I'm not going to continue this Sanzo Incident…….I'm currently running on LOVELESS And Naruto Juices, and lack of saiyuki motivation (I.E new Manga ) leads to non interest in writing in it. Also I'm graduating soon and I'm going to be out looking for a summer job before college. I'll still be here on but not writing anything...maybe a few naruto one-shots. Don't expect any LOVELESS from me. I love it very much, but I don't dare torture the characters. As for Saiyuki, don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I get volume 6.

Thank you for reading it thus far, and putting up with the long delay of waiting for the new chapter. D I hope you enjoyed my saiyuki fanfiction. I hope to return someday…I might be creating a website and hosting my fanfics up there. I'll let you know in one of my naruto fics later on. Read those! When I let you know…go to my website and e-mail me to tell me if there worthy.. –less than three- Domo Arigatou! Have a great summer everyone in the Saiyuki world. Eat meat buns. EAT THEM!!!!

Sayonara! –NellySama-


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